I Blame The English

I disgusted myself last night. It was about 10:30, and I realized that I'd been watching television pretty much non-stop since about 7pm. Three and one half hours of my life which I'll never get back. Was I watching classic comedy? Informative documentaries? Compelling drama?

No.

I barely watched one single program in its entirety. I started with "Daily Planet" on Discovery. It was either Jay Ingram's new perky co-host, or some bland commercials, but something got me flipping around. Found a debate on TVO. Not so good. Took in a bit of a comedy on CBS...same old jokes...same old laugh track...blah. Flicked and flicked and flicked until the Monday Night Football game came on. Bengals and Pats. Almost compelling, but still...blah. Flick flick flick. Part of Access Hollywood...dull. CSI, CSI Miami, CSI New York...and old Street Legal (interesting hair, but I think I've seen them all so many times). CNN was ranting about something so meaningless that I nodded off for a few moments.

Blah!

By 10:30, I'd watched almost the entire first half of a show on TVO about the Anglo-Saxon kings of England and how they created the political system that survives today. The guy had a cool accent, and the story was decent too. I liked the names of the characters: "Ethelred The Unready", "Knut the Dane," "Edward the Confessor."

But at 10:30, it occurred to me that I'd barely moved off the couch in this time. My kids saw their dad slowly being consumed by our old love seat. I'd moved the phone to the coffee table, so I wouldn't lose my carefully choreographed slouch.

I'd spent over three hours, de-composing in front of a TV that offered banal dross aimed at idiots. Like me! I was disgusted!

Had to do something to redeem myself. What to do? What to do?

Finally, it came to me. I got up, opened the pantry and made popcorn, poured a soft drink and consumed the whole mess in twenty minutes watching the conclusion of the English Kings thing.

After all, Ethelred the Unready is an hilarious name, and the guy had a pretty cool accent.